I'll see you ladies next week -after you've picked yourselves up from under the freight train- for Chapter 13! 👋🚶♀️
__
Don't wanna wait? Read the next 5 pages over on boosty.
I'll see you ladies next week -after you've picked yourselves up from under the freight train- for Chapter 13! 👋🚶♀️
__
Don't wanna wait? Read the next 5 pages over on boosty.
rusty rlly said see you next week ladies ✌️😗🚶♀️ after concluding a chapter and a half of pure solidified home grown cage free emotional devastation
Sign. That’s such a sad situation. I understand where Rissa is coming from – when you are this young, with a healthy body, you are still in that “feeling indestructuble” mentality, and grown up in a happy, safe enviroment – it’s so easy to look only on the bright side. Infantuation and youth make it so so easy to sweep aside a million of red signs, to pick up and compromise for someone, who’ll never respond in kind. I hope she’ll grow out of it before actual damage is done…
Choosing to focus on the least devastating part of this… Paranoia actually lives with Shez? 👀 Were we ever told how long they’ve been together now? Because if yes then I’ve forgotten lmao
Now to the devastating parts: oh god, really it’s the entire thing. It’s completely understandable why Rissa would feel the way she does, but at the same time of course Meriam’s position is also completely understandable. I didn’t realize she completely refuses to even meet the man, I thought she just didn’t allow him in the house. Interesting that Rissa keeps pointing out that Chris was only one man (clearly the exception from the rule in her eyes) when Meriam was actually abused by BOTH her husbands, albeit in different ways. That quiet “do you think I was just too stupid” nearly broke me and I would like to sue for damages.
Rissa’s arguments hit more because they’re things I see women on the internet argue a lot, even women who consider themselves feminists. “You think we should die alone”, no, not at all. “You think we’re too stupid to notice red flags”, no, I think men are good liars and relationships are hard to leave at a certain point because you become so invested in them. “This one is different, this one respects me” I’m sure he said so. “You think women are angels and only men can do wrong” no I literally never said that. “You just have a victim complex” thanks ever so much.
Of course it hurts all the more hearing these things from someone close to you, especially your own daughter I have to imagine. Rissa’s feelings about Shez are clearly very complicated, and I wish she could see the bond between Shez and Meriam for what it is. Telling her mom to ‘go to therapy’ as if she’s just being unreasonable and needs to be ‘fixed’ so she can be normal, like everybody else… Oof
But the little “be safe” at the end, that just gutted me entirely. Meriam’s entire position — no matter what the girls do, they will always have a home with her, they will always be welcome back, she will always wish them the very best; but she just cannot support some of their life choices because she knows too well how his can turn out — is so gentle, just holding to her own boundaries (no men in her life).
… I really hope Shez didn’t hear that fight 🙁
Ow. What a page. It totally makes full sense Meriam’s aversion to men. But I think Rissa isnt entirely wrong about there being a double standard?
I think something I wish a lot more parents understood from my line of work… Is that regardless of how valid or real part of your concerns are! You still can do deep damage to your kids with your issues.
Idk I know how an adult can (unintentionally) deeply reject you. It struck a chord because the kind of language Meriam uses were used by my own mother to emotionally abuse me.
Im rambling haha. It’s messy and I dont see either of them fully in the right on this, but I think that makes it more realistic.
Oof, the “everyone thinks I’m too stupid to see red flags” is SUCH a slap in the face of Meriam and every woman who has ever been abused. “That was ONE man”? Really? Statistics on male violence, and the lived experience of women everywhere, would seem to disagree!
I don’t know if Meriam has dated women since Chris, because she’s bi, but I get the feeling she hasn’t? If that’s true, then Rissa saying “so my options are: be a fucking lesbian or die alone” is especially nonsensical. Meriam has an entire life full of women who love and support her. She has a community. She’s not going to “die alone”, no matter her relationship status. That’s not a lesser life just because there’s not a man there. Women’s lives being worth while isn’t dependent on the presence of men.
aaaaaa this update broke my freaking heart </3 i do sympathize w rissa (especially given that she’s so young) but my heart rly goes out to meriam…she’s been through so much, and i hope rissa comes to understand her more as she gets older
Rissa: Actually people DO discriminate against straight love. I know because my mother exists.
I hope Rissa can learn without being hurt (again). The fact that her own fucking father did all that to her and her family and she can still wave it away as just being one man…hope the dick is worth it, Rissa. (it won’t be) Poor Meriam. Rissa callously telling her to get therapy…honey YOU need to quit being delusional and defending men. Your dad raped your mom (maybe she doesn’t know this part). I can understand Meriam has a stronger bond with Shanzey than her other daughters but doesn’t want to play favorites… Stick to your guns, Mama. Grow a brain, dear Rissa.
when people say radfems hate other women, straight women, I wish I could point them to the comments here, which exude empathy for both meriam AND rissa.
Not Rissa “Not All Men”ing Meriam. 😭 And don’t you just love it when male-centering women tell the rest of us straight/bi women we need therapy because we’re happier single/febfem? Yes, that happened to me, and yes, I still consider that betrayal the worst thing that came about from my breakup with my final boyfriend. I want to give Meriam a megaphone so she can shout all her best points from the rooftop, especially “Nice men are the best liars.”
I don’t have anything deep to say, I just love that her beau is literally named Beau. Right up there with Manson the man-son 😂👌
If Rissa is only 21 and her boyfriend is currently a practising doctor, he must be a fair bit older than her. Like 25/26 minimum?
Rizza sweety I love you but Beau is dating a woman he works with and has a lot of power over you have already missed one pretty big red flag 😭
I do truly deeply sympathize with Rizza and Miriam here. I honestly can’t say I think it’s a perfect set up, but given the family’s past I think it’s definitely understandable and not something she needs therapy for. Maybe therapy for the PTSD she has, but not the reasonable boundaries she’s set to protect herself and her daughters.
How long has Rizza been dating this guy for though? Like girl yeah it sucks he can’t come to the house (that Shez bought and her mom owns), but that’s just part of the life of living with your parents. They get to make the rules cause they’re the ones paying mortgage. It sucks. But it’s not the absolute end of the world.
Like girl you can still see him literally a n y w h e r e else (🚩like at fucking work when hes telling you what to do 🚩).
You’ll have my axe if someone see this page and blame Rusty for being “heterophobic” (?). Rissa is right, not all men are abuser like the moss of Chris, but even I’m straight and I know most of the Relationship violence is caused by men. And other commenters said it better, Rissa is staring at her boyfriend with pink shades, ignoring that Meriam had to endure violence from two men, of course she knows what she’s talking about.
oh my god. Rusty this hurts so much this is so real. Owww. Ohhh my god. Ohhh m
This hits seriously close to home. I’ve semi-accidentally had my couch become the local friend-circle’s emergency shelter for a bit, and I’ve had enough of those conversations for a lifetime to be honest. The thing that breaks my heart the most, I think, is when women, freshly out of a really bad relationship or even still in it and just escaped for a night, respond to the very gentle suggestion to not date men, even for a while at least, with some sort of accusation of you not wanting them to be happy or wanting them to be alone or anything like that.
No! I would love nothing more than for you to be happily partnered with a guy in theory but men are not doing their part in allowing that and I am simply not in a position to do anything about that for you! I can’t fix them any more than you can, and until it’s not a risk anymore I cannot in good conscience tell you, my friend or my friend’s friend or really any woman, that you should continue spinning that wheel hoping to land on the unicorn Good Man(tm).
Ugh, sorry. Got emotional. I wish Rizza the best, I really do. But I’m also a little angry with her – not for dating men, but for how she treats her mum here. Dismissing her trauma like that, dismissing her advice like that, making it all about herself. I get it, she’s young and hurt and in love, but I hope some day she’ll look back on that, think “man, I was an ass to my mum there,” and pick up the phone to reconnect. Hopefully without/before getting hurt by that or any other man.
And now that I got that out of my system: beautiful work as always, Rusty. I love the way the writing changes to convey tone, and the last bit, with the interrupted “be safe” is devastating.
I was happy at the mention of her name… and then the happiness went away 🥲🥲🥲
Uuuuurgh. I feel really bad for them both and can see where both are coming from.
I might get hate for this, but I think the lesser of two evils here would be Meriam meeting the guy so she could at least give Rissa an informed opinion (it’s very worth noting that he’s SIGNIFICANTLY older than Rissa and in a position of power over her.) about his shittiness as an individual as opposed to saying “It’s normal for all men to be shitty”.
99% of women aren’t ever going to completely avoid men and Rissa is clearly one of them, so IMO Meriam’s best bet at protecting her daughter would be being in the picture instead of by making Rissa feel pushed away, judged and unloved. “Why does my Mum hate men more than she loves me”
It’s messy though… I appreciate you treating Rissa’s feelings with respect, even though hers is a position most here obviously don’t agree with.
Ik where Rissa is coming from, but I don’t know why she’s mad about the fact that her man can’t come over?? You’re a grown ass woman If you want to live w him you can live w HIM in HIS house what’s the problem.
Everyone in the comments having sympathy for Rissa but in this particular situation she’s wrong. She should at least respect her mother’s boundaries!!
I really feel for them both as a straight woman who’s stopped bothering with men. The human drive to seek romance and intimacy is strong and initially the thought of going without that seemed like missing out on life too much… but eventually you realize that 99.999% of men aren’t offering romance and intimacy. They’re looking for a maid and a sex slave. Some are far nicer about it than others, sure, but at the end of the day I’ve never found a single man that I felt truly saw me as a person and respected me. It’s a horrifying realization, that at least half the human population seems to be borderline incapable of feeling empathy for people like you, and that those are the people you feel a deep instinctive attraction to. It’s one I can’t blame Rissa for not wanting to confront and obviously one that Meriam was forced to confront in the worst ways possible.
Just binge read this, amazing story so far!
FAMILY DYNAMICS THAT WERE SET AGES AGO BEING SO HARD TO ESCAPE FROM. THE ABUSER IS GONE BUT HIS PRESENCE LINGERS. It’s so realistic. I know people who spend their whole lives trying to escape a Set Family Dynamic that was made up in childhood.
See the thing is I look at this page and go WHAT ABOUT ROCKY?! it’s not a Meriam&Shez vs all her other daughters. I think. One could arguably say ROCKY would be hurt the worst by a man in the house. Of course I don’t know for sure we haven’t been shown. But I would suspect Rocky is more scared of men then Meriam and Shez are. Shez and Meriam are down to fight. I can imagine Rocky just feeling sick and paralyzed and unsafe and not wanting to burden anyone and feeling like a prey animal in her own home. I remember that feeling so clear haha. Housemates bringing men who don’t feel safe to me in our space. Though I KNOW my feelings of discomfort are nowhere near Rocky’s. I’m just like “ugh i don’t like him i’ll hide in my room” but Rocky I bet feels much more blind terror. That Panic Attack Feeling.
But again, those family dynamics that remain the same. I think Meriam and Shez are more willing to have this MAN fight. They’re more willing to be the MEAN BAD GUYS. They’re more willing to be told “GO TO THERAPY” right to their faces. I don’t think Rocky wants to be part of these fights. She just wants to live her peaceful life. So there you go again, Meriam and Shez being the family fighters family shields, still after all this time. Neither one of them ever bringing Rocky or her feelings up because they don’t want to throw Rocky into this fire. They don’t want to make Rocky more alienated from her other sisters who are taking offense at all of this. Meriam and Shez are down to take the bullets, to be Mean And Bad And Rude by saying No Men….
So anyway. Time for TenBelow’s MEAN MOMENT in the comments. Watch out everyone! MEAN MOMENT. I’m not among those who has sympathy for Rissa. Not every woman in this story deserves what I’d call… empathetic coddling from me HA. They are grown adults who should be smart enough to know better, and even if they aren’t smart enough they should be KIND to the women who love them rather then yell in their faces and defend some crappy man. Though I do tend to be more understanding to women, I know these women have social pressures that pushed them here, I can still think of them as dumb and annoying, especially in the context of them being fictional. Maria and the horrible stuff she put her daughter through because of BLAH BLAH TRADITIONAL MALE VALUES? WRETCHED. Whatever the heck Blair is gonna do? EVIL. Already giving Riley traumatic episodes here. Rissa? Come The Heck On Girl. Alex, Riley and Meriam have been nothing but kind and sacrificing to these women who are spitting in their faces. They don’t deserve it, and I just don’t see how Rissa deserves a bunch of sympathy. Meriam is here trying to explain herself gently and reasonably, and Rissa is pretty quick to start using disrespectful tones and screaming. I also can’t help but wonder how much of this dialog is Rissa’s own words vs stuff Beau has told her. Wouldn’t be surprised if the rancid doctor man is making things much worse, if he’s being an angry entitled man who’s soooo mad his gf’s family is MEAN to him. Wouldn’t be surprised at all if this guy was riling up Rissa way more. Wouldn’t be surprised if this man is the one who’s emphasizing that Meriam and Shez are CRAZY from trauma. It’s just my imagination and nothing we’ve been shown, but I believe in a version of Rissa who could see Meriam and Shez’s responses to men as being logical and rational once. But now that she Likes A Special Man, she loathes it. Like if Beau was really cool, he could be like “Listen, Rissa. When you explain what your family has been through, it makes sense. Maybe someday they can grow to trust me. Until then, I respect the rules.” but we know COOL MEN don’t exist in LeaseBound. If they do they die (rip jaden dad)
I guess to some extent it shocks me to see so many people being like “oh my gosh… they’re both right…” Nope. Not Me. Rissa, chill the heck out. You could have handled this conversation with more compassion instead of disrespecting your mom and screaming. Meriam isn’t being a complete raging jerk going “What? You’re dating a man? That’s against the rules. I’m kicking you out of the house.” She is protecting herself and her other daughters who have trauma. How would Rocky handle this guy being integrated into the family? I’m sure that would make everything easier. Rissa would stop screaming. Rocky would suffer in silence. But you know, Meriam doesn’t choose what’s easy. She always chooses what’s best for her family, even when it’s hard.
I step off my soap box and walk away
aaah so true. Meriam isn’t just a CHILD PROTECTION MACHINE she is her own woman with her own comfort levels…………..
I’m biased on this subject. I don’t think it’s possible to be UNBIASED on this subject. All of us women have our own opinions and our own realities and lived experiences that we bring onto this topic. There is no Pure Logical Approach to this topic (that Pure Logic No Emotion Allowed seems very male to me anyway imo lol) So I’m very open about the fact my bias leans me way towards Meriam’s side here.
But you know I do think I can kinda slide my mind a little bit into the other side…. At least a little bit. I understand this metaphor isn’t exactly the same! I’m sure anyone who’s read some of my comics can tell I’m a HUGE animal lover…. My animal friends are everything to me, and they are the center and the priority of my life. But you know, I’m very familiar with the reality of animals. Dogs can kill people. If someone has been mauled by a dog before, I don’t expect that person to make an exception, even when I KNOW my own dog is perfect and harmless precious babychild. It’s horrible to live through violence, it can color someone’s life forever and I have no expectation that they Get Over It for my sake. You don’t wanna hang out with my dog. That’s ok. We can spend time together without the dog. She’s not a service dog who I always need around me at all times, so it’s fine. I do get annoyed with people who say mean things about animals. In fact it really rips my heart sometimes, and sometimes I don’t trust people with terrible opinions about animals. But if someone is a victim of a brutal attack…. I can understand why someone feels that way. That’s natural. It would be silly for me to take offense in that circumstance.
Meriam has been raped multiple times……….. So I think she’s allowed to not wanna be around any man if she doesn’t want to. If her dislike of men is hindering her life, like she’s like Kai and refuses to speak to them… If someone is having a medical emergency and Meriam is like “NO MALE DOCTORS” and a life is at stake for it, then OKAY, sure she needs address it A Little Bit. Avoidance of men that extreme could possibly be harmful. But that does not seem to be where she’s at. I think Rissa can live her life in her own way just fine, and she can accommodate her mom. She doesn’t need to bring her man around him. She doesn’t need to take personal offense saying “my mom is a rape victim and dislikes men because of it, and that means she dislikes ME”.
Cos also another thing about Healing is that it is can be such hard work. Like it’s such hard work. It’s years and years of work. It’s ripping open old wounds to address them, leaving yourself raw, weak and shaking. It’s a lot to demand Meriam work on healing herself, especially if Meriam herself has no personal motivation for it. I have my own issues I’ve gone through the hard work of healing because it hinders my life. If Meriam likes her life the way it is…. It’s A LOT of effort to try forcing her to “heal” when she doesn’t want to….
….OH AND ANOTHER THING, Rissa seems to be relying that what happened to Meriam was ONE man, ONE TIME, but again, that ONE MAN did MULTIPLE things over years of Meriam’s life, and it also wasn’t even just one man. Meriam had another man who shipped her to another country and abandoned her. After that guy did that, don’t we all think Meriam was on high alert and trying to be cautious? Don’t we think that when she was with Chris, she would think to herself: but what if he’s like Shez’s father? She made the choice that was the most smart to her. She examined him, she examined what happened to her before, she compared the behavior of the men… But he was TRICKY. Beau is different, Rissa says! Meriam probably thought Chris was different, otherwise she never would have gotten involved with him!
I’m sure Meriam has already tried to explain before. I wouldn’t be surprised if Rissa may have understood once, but she is willing herself to no longer understand……….. Meriam is trying to be respectful, and Rissa is just being such a huge meanie. Sigh! Rissa actively calls Meriam foolish, crazy, blatantly says she’s showing favoritism… Meriam never returns these insults, she doesn’t call Rissa stubborn or foolish or anything. Rissa is the only one slinging insults.
There’s so many hurtful things Meriam could say. Meriam could say Rissa is reminding her of Chris with her stubbornness and refusal to listen. But she doesn’t want to hurt Rissa. Rissa, meanwhile, isn’t caring so much if her mom gets hurt. She may be wanting to hurt her and hoping the hurt will sway Meriam to her side…. Even if she isn’t actively consciously thinking that way, Rissa wants to do what it takes to win, I think. Meriam is the one willing to compromise a bit – again, not being more harsh about the NO MEN RULE is a compromise in my opinion. There are parents in this world who have been way more mean and controlling about their daughters dating, not for good real reasons but for patriarchal control and purity usually. Meriam doesn’t deserve being bullied into being the only one who should compromise. They both should be respectful of each other and Talk Nicely. It’s possible to have difficult conversations respectfully without saying any insults or yelling.
ANYWAY THATS ENOUGH RAMBLING ABOUT THE CONFLICT 😀 IT GIVES ME A LOT OF FEELINGS. FUN TO ANALYZE YOUR WORK! YEE!