CHAPTERS
48 3004

CH12P13

Sorry to all the girlies who guessed correctly :(

48 thoughts on “CH12P13

  1. As much as this page pains me, you´ve done a phenomenal job to unquestionably portray, that what happens in the abusive household’s bedroom between “consenting” adults is actually r*pe…

    It shows so many profound emotions in so few panels: the dawning and horrible realization of us, watchers, and eventually Shez, the helplessness-born despair, the rage.
    While the content of the page absolutely infuriates me, I’m similarly awed but your ability to portray it, without devolving into any detales or graphic imagery.

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    1. Thank you very much!
      I feel like the horror is actually a lot more amplified by not going the graphic route. Explicit scenes of sexual violence against women always just screams: “some male was getting off to this scene and it’s gonna find it’s way onto porn sites” to me.

      I’ve tried to capture those moments of vulnerability between women when they share stories of sexual assault. The full details never need to be said. Most of us know how to fill in the blanks.

      The horror is that she experienced it at all.

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  2. 😞 Chris, when i catch you, Chris…..

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    1. 👏👏

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  3. Wow… The refrigerator horror realizing that Meriam had to sacrifice herself just to ward off this disgusting man from hurting her and Shez again :/ and realizing they’re going to be having yet another child they’ll have to worry about protecting. The situation is frightening me and I’m worried that it’s becoming more and more hopeless that they’ll ever find a way out of this situation 🙁

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    1. Completely understandable ❤️
      Remember though, Shez is telling this story. So she did make it out. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

  4. Also, the painful irony that the audience has with the baby girls being excited about being “just like their big sister” and the anger and fear that fills Shez with…. ouch oof

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    1. The last thing she ever wanted for them 💔
      Ignorance is truly bliss 🙁

  5. I just noticed that even though Chris is seemingly rich AF and he “saved Meriam from a life of servitude because she’s so beautiful she deserves better” AND she’s pregnant with the child he raped into her, she’s still doing all the chores.

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    1. He was looking for a 24/7 live-in maid he could s*xually abuse, which is what a lot of men label as “wife”

      1. With how many men think marriage = consent, he likely doesn’t see it as sexual abuse. It’s what he’s “owed”.

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    2. Something she likely didn’t event notice, too busy feeling indebted to him for “saving” her.

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  6. I don’t know if this was on purpose, but I think it’s very interesting that she does not tell Shez, she tells the kids. She has been brushing off Shez’s questions about what happened the entire time and even now she can’t look her in the eyes while saying it — because she needs to stay positive, and Shez would understand too well just what this means. I think she probably doesn’t want Shez to feel guilty for her part in the situation, either.

    The contrast between the seemingly normal and — without context — happy scene in the foreground and Shez’s anger and helplessness in the background is extremely poignant as well. I think it plays into the ways in which even a family with an abusive man controlling everything looks superficially normal most of the time, but even the most mundane of moments are underscored with dread.

    And another thing, I love how thy physical distance between Meriam and Shez really underscores how Meriam is shutting her out. Up until this point, whenever they have appeared in a panel together they have almost always been physically close, or touching each other in some way. But now there is this distance between them… I hope they’ll find their way to that closeness again 🙁

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    1. Absolutely amazing observations. Love, love, LOVE your theories. Very interested to see how they fit with the next page ❤️

  7. Well that’s… ghastly. It’s rare to see art or writing that so well shows how an abuser is still controlling his family in what a “normal” family might consider a happy moment. Nobody in Meriam’s position can consent to sex. Nobody in Shez’s can remember the wrong (true) events or feel the wrong (right) emotions too loudly. Every single thing you do with the man watching gets colored by “you know what will happen if you step out of line.” And later, people you talk to will still take those “happy” moments as evidence that he was somehow not that bad.

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    1. God that last part, yeah 🙁
      “But there are photographs of you smiling at the time. How bad could it have been. I think you’re exaggerating!”

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  8. Like this comment to kill Chris instantly. If enough of us like it Rusty will have to show his dead body on the next update page

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  9. aaaa this is so heartbreaking :((((( chris rly is a monster. the fact that we can’t see shez’s eyes in this update/that her face is in shadows is a great art choice & speaks to what a dark place she’s in emotionally. and what a great contrast bw shez (who knows what her mom is going through) and her younger sisters (who have no clue and are just happy to get to be big sisters like shez, who they obviously look up to). anyways, tldr – your art is amazing, this story is amazing, and my heart is breaking into a million tiny pieces for shez and mariam ;-;

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    1. Thank you, reading comments like made all the time I spent getting this flashback right, worth it 🥰

  10. Men will never understand the horror of being forced to give birth, I think they get some sick satisfaction and feel superior knowing they can inflict so much pain onto a woman. I can’t imagine the mental and psychological torture Meriam must be going through right now.

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    1. Oh absolutely. It’s why there are men gunning so hard to outlaw abortion. A large part of misogyny is men’s exploitation of women’s capacity to reproduce.

      Meriam is likely being able to hold it together because of her children’s ignorance to what’s going on. Likely one of the reasons she hasn’t clued in Shez either. Because Shez knows what Chris is capable of. Telling her means facing the reality of what happened.

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  11. I’m so scared for Meriam, studies show that male abuse only gets worse after childbirth, and I have a feeling Meriam is going to have another girl which I doubt Chris will be pleased about. Manifesting one of the midwives to see through Chris’s bullshit and live up to the “mean nurse” stereotype on him, umbilical cord ain’t the only thing being cut off at this birth 😉

    1. Oh breastie 💔😔
      I am sorry to inform you there are no midwives. I couldn’t find an appropriate place to put it in the story without disrupting the flow, but: all three of Shez’s sisters were born at home with no medical intervention.

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      1. Does it mean that… Shez had to help her mother give birth too ?

        1. Hmm probably not with the younger two, given shez was only 9 and then 10 years old. But happy for that to be open to interpretation.

        2. I don’t know what would be worse: Shez having to help her mother give birth, or Merriam having to give birth completely ALONE TWICE

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      2. Shit… wait does Chris not allow Meriam to leave the house at all? I know the girls are homeschooled and Chris doesn’t strike me as the family outing kind of guy, but I figured Meriam was at least going out to get groceries?

        I shouldn’t be surprised, should I? “Traditional” families posit women and children as extensions of men, hell, marriage is built on that assertion, it’s not two people who are married, it’s “man and wife”, women are literally titled by whether they belong to a man yet.

        It was so clear when Chris said he would “take care” of Meriam he meant it in a stray dog “I’ll be this creature’s (he literally called her that) master and feed and house it so it can amuse me” kinda way, and that’s not even a fair comparison… most people at least take their pets to the vet when their sick 😥

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        1. You couldn’t have put it better with that last paragraph. “Pet” is actually a petname he used on Meriam in an earlier draft when he had more on-screen dialogue 🤢🤮. That and “Princess” of course :/

          Re: leaving the house – it would happen very minimally. They’re about an hour’s drive from the nearest service station (fuel pumps, basics like milk and bread), and further from anything bigger.

          So, Chris probably explains the infrequency away with the distance, and they do a big grocery shop once every few months rather than once a week.

          Meriam also cannot drive 🙁

        2. damn jay you are so right…………

          sometimes us women can really have such a hard time with understanding the depth of which some men can hate us. He REALLY IS thinking of his wife as being like an animal, a pet, and he no doubt sees all the other girls in the same way too. I love you making this comparison, it really is perfect. Big brain in you 🧠

  12. oooffff, the Impotence she must feel because she is boiling with rage but cannot show it to her innocent sisters… also knowing the domestic burden will increase too.

    Hang in there Shez! 😿

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    1. 💔❤️💔❤️💔

  13. Parniya’s biggest fan

    Shez won’t be able to keep that fist to herself for long..

    1. Definitely not. You can only fit so much rage in one tiny body.

      1. That’s why her hair is so long after such a short time, she’s readying up to go super saiyan!

        1. Ohohohohohoohoho 👀

  14. I swear I have never asked to the “male character illness” to arrive quickly before…

  15. GOD FUCK this is the WORST one yet (compliment to your ability to make me feel several emotions)!!!!!
    Like the disgust at what that troglodyte did to Meriam and the horror I feel for her and Shez and the worry for all of their safety and the worry that Shez will blame herself.
    VS
    Seeing that Shez has been such a good sister that her sisters are EXCITED to get a chance to be like her! And the….idk how to explain it. Pride/admiration feel very in bad taste but like
    Meriam doing what she has to to keep her daughter safe and to survive. Going through some of the worst things a woman can go through and still being able to hold it together enough so that she can get her and the girls out of there is just!!!!!!
    I hope if I ever got put in a scenario this awful that I’d have the same resilience as her.

    1. I can see it. I feel in any other moment, Shez would be proud to be a good role model for her sisters, but not in a moment where they’re in danger with that disgusting moid. She’s not being a good sister for being a good role model, she’s being a good sister for her mom and sisters’s safeness and that breaks my heart.

  16. Oh God.

  17. Listen I needed Chris to die already very much but him forcing Meriam to give birth at HOME with no medical intervention??????!!!??????


    Rusty I can’t come up with any good threats but that man better be dead. Squished flat like a bug (I like bugs and apologize to them for the comparison, he is only worthy of comparison to parasitic worms)

    Rusty please I know you try to make your comic realistic but after Shez and Meriam do a realistic escape from this man utilizing the power of a well timed kick to the balls etc etc please PLEASE let him be hit by a truck. the thought of this fictional man being fictionally alive in Shez’s fictional present day is too much.

    1. Yeah 🙁
      When I was writing the backstory I drafted several difference scenes about Chris’ reasoning for not taking her to the hospital/OBGYN appointments. Came down to control issues and not having his authority challenged, which he would frame to Meriam as “Doctors in this country are idiots. They can’t take care of you like I can, only in it for the money. Remember when [bad thing that happened – perhaps a language barrier issue, because Meriam spoke no English when she arrived in Aus] during Shanzey’s birth, you don’t want to go through that again right?”

      I could also see him being one of those nutters women shouldn’t have painkillers/ epidural during birth – and trying throw his weight around because “it’s my child too!! I should get a say in how you birth it!!”

      Again, there wasn’t a good place for me to put info like this with the story Shez is telling, but consider it cannon 💔

      I think you will be satisfied with Chris’ fate by the end of Chapter 12, though 💕

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    2. (for ur consolation) Can already Imagine the upcoming trial…

      👓 “So you’re saying that is proof she shot him in cold blood, carefully planned??”

      “Correct, your honor. The evidence collected is enough to infer this was a matter of deliberate revenge on Mr Chris Ausmoid, the subject doesn’t even show signs of remorse over what she did or over the damaging effects the absence of the father could have on the children”

      “But your honor, she’s a horse! 🗣 look at her. Ms Blaire doesn’t even have thumbs”

      👓 “Indeed, astute observation. Anyway Not Guilty, case dismissed” 🔨💥

      and no more reoffending from that man. Just peace that neither this nor any other vulnerable family will ever be under his evil grip anymore.

      1. I endorse this and only this Blaire redemption arc 👩‍⚖️

      2. Also omg. Ausmoid is his fucken last name now. He’s not going on the cast page, but this is absolutely his surname. Cannon 👩‍⚖️👩‍⚖️👩‍⚖️

        1. what?! LMFAO no wayyyyy 😂💀😂 I feel blessed now, thank youuuu

          Makes sense. I was thinking that at most maybe when Meriam’s bio appears with later updates it was gonna include a brief line like “She was previously partnered to Chris Lastname” cause he’s a minor male character. But OMFG I didn’t think you’d enjoy the joke so much 😳 (PS HorseBlaire in the slim chance u’re reading this, ILY queen, thanks for saving Shez and her family so swiftly and for making the comment section so fun with your contributions)

  18. SHEZ IS NEARING HER ABSOLUTE FREAKING LIMIT…………

    I love all these commenters who told it like it is, called rape for what it is. How can it be consensual when the threat of violent agony is dangling over her head? How can she have loving happy intimacy when this man WOULD MURDER HER, HER DAUGHTERS, ETC…. A lot of women just fracture themselves to get through situations like this.

    Re the homebirths, I can be a little “hippie-dippy” with some of my beliefs at times, and I do think homebirth can be a great thing for women, a lot of hospitals can be scary and rip women’s agency away and put them through procedures they never wanted…. !!!!BUT!!! birth is scary birth is life-risking and someone with experience REALLY SHOULD BE THERE. Where is the birth doula? THERE IS NONE. The freaking audacity of the Man to be like “It’s MY decision how this child is born” barf puke vomit you’re not a professional mr man you’re an idiot. If something went wrong then what. They are So Far Away from medical professionals out here. There are some many ways in which things could have been so so so so much worse…. I’m no expert, but doesn’t risk of complications go higher and higher with every birth a woman goes through? yyeeuugghh. I am really hoping they are out of this situation before the next sister is born. This is something I have been continuously thinking. The sooner they leave the better. Get out while she’s still pregnant and be able to give birth more safely. As dangerous as pregnancy is, isn’t the number one killer of pregnant women her male partner? hoo. they really are walking on the edge of a knife being around this wretched man. I don’t have a lot of hope in them being able to leave before the birth of the next sister but I Still Do Indeed Hope.

    I actually LOVE how cute crystal and karissa are tho hdjshfsdf. You hitting hard on that Contrast. “Zee-zee” IS COMPLETELY FREAKING ADORABLE AS A NICKNAME AND CONGRATS ON COMING UP WITH THAT I LOVE THAT. Glad to see a glimpse of good sistery relations. Love knowing that the sincere Happy Moments and loving connection do indeed exist within this family despite all the darkness, it’s just not the focus of Shez telling a harrowing tale about domestic abuse. poor shez feeling her guilt and rage, being praised for being a Good Big Sister and just feeling Crushed, wanting to do so much more then she is capable of doing.

    Others have said so but I say again because it’s so good: love how you gave Shez such a depersonalized and disconnected feel. Standing there in the background simplified shapes her features erased, but the Scar is the feature that Remains, the Scar is So Relevant to her right now, it won’t be erased like her other features….

    we are truly so spoiled with this wild update schedule excited to see what happens next. love the unpredictability to it. We know they leave, but we’re just screaming WHEN? WHEN? WHEN? HOW MUCH WILL OUR BELOVED GIRLS HAVE TO ENDURE? I’m also so enticed to see how Crystal and Krissy react to everything. I keep wondering if one of them will want to change their names in the future. I would hate to have a connection to an awful man in my name, but it’s also THEIR NAMES!! THEIR NAMES. Their names they’ve been called since they were babies! He doesn’t own their names!

  19. This highlights that you can depict rape without graphic imagery of women being violated and humiliated. Which is why so many popular drama films from the late 90s repulse me viscerally. Hell, even some directed by women (and written by women) who always have that…well…handmaiden vibe. Which sums up a lot of famous female directors in Hollywood cuz they never question the patriarchy fully and they enable rape in the industry when it comes to their male friends.

    Soapboxing over. I kinda figured this was gonna happen because 3 little sisters. The third hasn’t shown up yet and the husband is violent and beats his stepdaughter. I don’t think I have to go on how men who beat kids are usually also rapists.

    Jesus, Meriam is basically a symbol of any immigrant woman lied to about the ~western dream~ and abandoned by the man she loved. And then again, by her second husband, but in a much more heinous way.

    If you put Chris in a cell with the malebians / agp trio… who’d crack first?

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