Also, I don’t know if it’s intentional that one of the girls’ shirts up top says “KIND”, but if it is, that’s a pretty good allusion to female socialization.
I didn’t even realise that it means something in English, my German brain just went “ah yes, the child is labelled” and moved on. Kinder is plural, so her shirt does just say “child” in German as it is.
2
rustyhearts
Ooh that’s helpful to know, thank you! Es tut mir leid, Mein Deutsch ist schlect wiel ich nicht praktiziert habe.
“Ah yes the child is labelled” made me laugh though, omg 🤣🤣🤣
Excited for the mirror page where the first panel is Crystal and Karissa happily cheering and dancing in a rain of blood and the second panel is Shez holding Chris’s head up victoriously!!!!
I love the bottom panel and seeing Shez’s full body physical strength. She’s worked so hard and her effort and hard work have clearly paid off. You also did a beautiful job illustrating her raw emotions.
One of the things I love about your art is how you focus on the essentials. Instead of a fully-detailed realistic image, you focus on the most important parts in each scene and depict the emotions in play. I love this style, so thank you so much! ❤️
How old is Shez right now? I’ve been thinking of her as a tween or early teen (10 – 14 years old).
I used to get a lot more caught up on exact-ness and what would be the most “realistic”, but I’ve been making a deliberate effort to shift my focus to evoking emotion.
Always asking myself,”How do I want this panel to make readers feel?”
Glad to hear it’s paying off!
Yes go Shez!! One thing I’ve been wondering about with the last couple updates, though; is…is she doing this all behind Chris’s back? How would she hide it, if so? Because he seems to be pretty focused on pushing misogynistic female socialization onto them; keeping women dainty and “pleasing”; etc. Would he not at least notice her growing muscles?
Maybe he doesn’t really care as much about her behavior at this point, her being the older one who also isn’t biologically his; and is instead focusing more on making the younger two (three 😟) be what he wants them to be? That’s what I’m guessing, at least…
rusty the do it for her meme broke me… shez is literally carrying her sisters’ happiness on her back. She is channeling the burden she shoulders into literally buff shoulders!!!
;_; Love the contrast between how tough and cool Shez is vs the innocent adorability of her little sisters.
And it’s probably just because it’s a story being told by Shez, but I really like the tonal shift of the flashback in general – the interesting colouring and panelling etc (not to mention the content) really makes it seem different from the rest of the comic (not that that’s not great too ofc!)
Chris’ days are numbered. Hope he never even gets to meet the upcoming baby.
I’m really struggling emotionally with this arc, which I fully mean as a compliment. It’s good, really really good, to see Shez become strong and to see her iron determination and her and her mum working together and being honest to each other. At the same time, she’s a child. She should never have been put into that position, she shouldn’t have to feel like she needs to rescue her mum or kill anyone or really even defend herself in her own home. These are not worries or goals a child should be having. And neither should her mum ever have been put into the situation of having to appease a violent man in her own home. They were both failed by the men around them and they just deserve better.
And now she’s getting strong, and I’m proud of her and I want her to get everyone to safety, but at the same time, I’m so worried for her. She’s still a kid, and Chris is so much bigger, and even if she does manage to get herself and her mum and siblings out, not only is that kind of violence something that’ll affect her mind, I’m also not sure where they’d all go afterwards. Her mum hasn’t worked for years now, the sisters are really young, and Shez probably doesn’t have a lot of experience with the outside world yet. I just worry about them.
You’re a great storyteller. And it helps that I know this is a flashback and that Shez is okay in the present (and bought her mum a house!). But I haven’t been commenting lately because everyone was cheering her on, rightfully, and I was sitting in the corner muttering “oh no” to myself.
I’m glad you commented anyway! You’re allowed to be worried, and tbh I think you’re considering some very important factors to their situation.
Like you said, for all her grit and very justified deternination, Shez is still a child. Her goal is juvinille, lofty, naive even. You’re right to trust your gut.
I will say though, in the same vain, it is also because Shez is a child, that she is not privy to everything Meriam is doing to prepare for their leave. I imagine on the few supervised groccery trips, Meriam has been very observant of her surroundings, gathering information only an adult could.
Meriam may not have everything worked out – and doesn’t know what Shez is up to, she just thinks she’s been going to play outside (often with her sisters, which likely is very helpful)- but all this time money is still being carefully added to their little bag too.
40 thoughts on “CH12P18”
2lilsisters
wait when she lifts the rock and stands up, are the younger sisters still holding on at the back?
rustyhearts
B-Breastie.. please say sike…
Crypty
They are clinging to her like little baby possums 🙂
Iota
Hell yeah!!!!!
Also, I don’t know if it’s intentional that one of the girls’ shirts up top says “KIND”, but if it is, that’s a pretty good allusion to female socialization.
rustyhearts
It was meant to say Kinder – like the German word for child, but some of the letters got cut off and I didn’t go back to fix it 😅
K
I didn’t even realise that it means something in English, my German brain just went “ah yes, the child is labelled” and moved on. Kinder is plural, so her shirt does just say “child” in German as it is.
rustyhearts
Ooh that’s helpful to know, thank you! Es tut mir leid, Mein Deutsch ist schlect wiel ich nicht praktiziert habe.
“Ah yes the child is labelled” made me laugh though, omg 🤣🤣🤣
Elena
Are you ready to die CHRIS?
Tyto
The prophecy has been realized – BEHOLD THE LEGEND!
rustyhearts
Thank you, Vegeta. Never thought I’d have you in the comment section.
Jaden's lover
It’s time to muuuurdeeeeer some guy!!!!
Crypty
Excited for the mirror page where the first panel is Crystal and Karissa happily cheering and dancing in a rain of blood and the second panel is Shez holding Chris’s head up victoriously!!!!
rustyhearts
🙏👏🙏👏🙏👏🙏👏👏🙏👏🙏
Shez is a warrior
Oh snap! Did Shez just turn Super Saiyan on us?
rustyhearts
The one of legend. The one they feared. 😎
Ms. Clicker
I love berserk this is my fav my manga <3
anonymoo
That heavy rock is getting dropped right onto his genitals 🙂
rustyhearts
❤️ to charge!
💔 to cast!
Dagny Taggart
I love the bottom panel and seeing Shez’s full body physical strength. She’s worked so hard and her effort and hard work have clearly paid off. You also did a beautiful job illustrating her raw emotions.
One of the things I love about your art is how you focus on the essentials. Instead of a fully-detailed realistic image, you focus on the most important parts in each scene and depict the emotions in play. I love this style, so thank you so much! ❤️
How old is Shez right now? I’ve been thinking of her as a tween or early teen (10 – 14 years old).
rustyhearts
Thank you for the lovely comment 🥰
I used to get a lot more caught up on exact-ness and what would be the most “realistic”, but I’ve been making a deliberate effort to shift my focus to evoking emotion.
Always asking myself,”How do I want this panel to make readers feel?”
Glad to hear it’s paying off!
Shez is 13, close to 14 here.
RCS
The do it for her reference really hit me outta left field there
rustyhearts
Crypty
^That ball is gonna be Chris’s head.
Blais
S-H-E-Z !
SHE WILL SAVE HER FAMILY !
SHANZEY BINTI MERIAM !
SEE HOW STRONG SHE HAS BECOME !!!!!!
Parniya’s biggest fan
YES!!!
Lilith_Winged
Yes go Shez!! One thing I’ve been wondering about with the last couple updates, though; is…is she doing this all behind Chris’s back? How would she hide it, if so? Because he seems to be pretty focused on pushing misogynistic female socialization onto them; keeping women dainty and “pleasing”; etc. Would he not at least notice her growing muscles?
Maybe he doesn’t really care as much about her behavior at this point, her being the older one who also isn’t biologically his; and is instead focusing more on making the younger two (three 😟) be what he wants them to be? That’s what I’m guessing, at least…
Norm L. Esbian
i think i remember rusty on previous pages saying that Shez wasn’t held as strictly to the same “standards” since she wasn’t Chris’s kid.
rustyhearts
Pretty much, yeah! That and the dude isn’t exactly a very observant parent. Out of sight out of mind.
BlackSwallowtail
ngl I’ve been having Eye of the Tiger stuck in my head when reading these last several pages. I blame the Persepolis movie. lol
andy
rusty the do it for her meme broke me… shez is literally carrying her sisters’ happiness on her back. She is channeling the burden she shoulders into literally buff shoulders!!!
rustyhearts
Normal person
;_; Love the contrast between how tough and cool Shez is vs the innocent adorability of her little sisters.
And it’s probably just because it’s a story being told by Shez, but I really like the tonal shift of the flashback in general – the interesting colouring and panelling etc (not to mention the content) really makes it seem different from the rest of the comic (not that that’s not great too ofc!)
Chris’ days are numbered. Hope he never even gets to meet the upcoming baby.
K
I’m really struggling emotionally with this arc, which I fully mean as a compliment. It’s good, really really good, to see Shez become strong and to see her iron determination and her and her mum working together and being honest to each other. At the same time, she’s a child. She should never have been put into that position, she shouldn’t have to feel like she needs to rescue her mum or kill anyone or really even defend herself in her own home. These are not worries or goals a child should be having. And neither should her mum ever have been put into the situation of having to appease a violent man in her own home. They were both failed by the men around them and they just deserve better.
And now she’s getting strong, and I’m proud of her and I want her to get everyone to safety, but at the same time, I’m so worried for her. She’s still a kid, and Chris is so much bigger, and even if she does manage to get herself and her mum and siblings out, not only is that kind of violence something that’ll affect her mind, I’m also not sure where they’d all go afterwards. Her mum hasn’t worked for years now, the sisters are really young, and Shez probably doesn’t have a lot of experience with the outside world yet. I just worry about them.
You’re a great storyteller. And it helps that I know this is a flashback and that Shez is okay in the present (and bought her mum a house!). But I haven’t been commenting lately because everyone was cheering her on, rightfully, and I was sitting in the corner muttering “oh no” to myself.
rustyhearts
I’m glad you commented anyway! You’re allowed to be worried, and tbh I think you’re considering some very important factors to their situation.
Like you said, for all her grit and very justified deternination, Shez is still a child. Her goal is juvinille, lofty, naive even. You’re right to trust your gut.
I will say though, in the same vain, it is also because Shez is a child, that she is not privy to everything Meriam is doing to prepare for their leave. I imagine on the few supervised groccery trips, Meriam has been very observant of her surroundings, gathering information only an adult could.
Meriam may not have everything worked out – and doesn’t know what Shez is up to, she just thinks she’s been going to play outside (often with her sisters, which likely is very helpful)- but all this time money is still being carefully added to their little bag too.
Some small hope for you 🩷
Norm L. Esbian
…. so MERIAM kills him…….
rustyhearts
Kory (sending soothing vibes to K)
as fun and “power fantasy” as it is to watch Shez go Eye of The Tiger this way, it’s also so important to keep in mind what you all pointed out v_v
Norm L. Esbian
i understand your feelings a lot. 🫂
Nonnie
I had in my mind “I’ll make a man out of you” with these pages, but in the correct way: I’ll make a woman out of you.
“Did they sent me moids, when I ask for daughters?”
rustyhearts
Loving that everyone has their own soundtrack to these last few pages 🤩🥰
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