holy crap,i was JUST reading the last page and this one suddenly popped it
thanks,Rusty! I adore leasebound
Anita
17 December 2023 8:22 PM
Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no. Shez getting angry at her mom. And her face at the end. And the little ones in the background. And the name of the page π
I really do love Meriam. She has so few choices and so many things (people) to protect and even now, with Shez yelling at her, she is still trying so hard to be gentle. She didn’t want to tell her this. She wanted to protect her from it.
The truth she is trying to explain to Shez here is a very unfortunate part of being an adult, and especially someone stuck in a bad relationship. This one really hit me hard.
You’re so good at storytelling. From the colors to the writing this story makes me so tense and emotional ππ Shez is only 13!! I have nothing else to say I want to hug Meriam so bad
Normal person
17 December 2023 10:44 PM
Oh god π This page and the last are absolutely devastating! Seeing the contrast between the adorable happy kids vs the suffering that Shez and Meriam are going through is agonizing.
I can’t blame Shez for being angry, she had enough to deal with already without there being another baby in the mix. But Meriam… god. It makes me wonder how many times this happened… I doubt she got pregnant from just one ‘encounter.’ God, the humility and harm this poor woman has been through…
I noticed her wearing her old maid’s apron on the last page, too – it makes me wonder if she hung onto it and put it on again for some sort of comfort and a physical reminder of when she was independent, or whether it was meant to be a throwback to her being a maid cleaning up Chris’ room… Either way it sucks. ;_;
Norm L. Esbian
18 December 2023 12:45 AM
rusty iβm begging you to tell me the little girls arenβt in present time like βwell dad was always nice to USβ or else iβm gonna go crazy
Blais
18 December 2023 1:06 AM
π’π’π’π’π’πππππππ this wrecks me. Meriam’s self-sacrifice, Shez’s face when she understands, and words that ring hauntingly true for women.
Related: I like the way you draw crying faces, specifically women’s crying faces. Their eyes narrowed or squeezed shut, their teeth gritted, their faces squinched up where you can see the lines, the angles really show how much pain they’re in, the snot.
I think it’s typical for a lot of anime art styles to portray women’s tears in an almost voyeuristic way (there is a better word but it’s not coming to me right now), with their eyes either huge and doll-like or softly closed, and the teardrops shaded like sparkly gemstones.
Aside from how demeaning it is to portray women crying and showing serious emotion in an uwu cutesy way, crying should look gross and ugly because the characters are processing really painful emotions. In a situation as serious as this, it’s good for crying to look so appropriately gut-wrenching.
Tyto
18 December 2023 2:59 AM
No parent wants to tell that truth to a child, definetely not one this young. In fact, this very moment represents Meriam making that same choice again: to remain silent and put a fracture into her bond with Shez or answer honestly, knowing that her kind daughter will feel the guilt for it…
five hundred beehives
18 December 2023 3:55 AM
I remember learning that lesson. Eleven, twelve, thirteen, and thinking you’re already meant to be an adult, and thinking this is how they will treat you, so fucking get used to it or you’re going to die this way. I remember asking myself if it was even fair to tell my friend to stay alive when this was all they would face.
Shez, you will get out of there, you may have to do it crawling, but get out.
Parniyaβs biggest fan
18 December 2023 5:37 AM
Noβ¦ π₯Ί
anonymoo
18 December 2023 5:56 AM
Meriam is so strong.
sea green
18 December 2023 6:03 AM
Shez’s facial expressions are awesome. it’s an extreme sort of sadness that doesn’t often get portrayed for girls in media. snot coming out, chin wrinkled from how hard the mouth is grimacing. it’s not focused on being pretty or graceful or cute or funny, just on shez’s conveying pain. it makes me glad you’re the one drawing this sort of story.
and oof, the meriam’s words! such impact! poor shez might feel like it’s her fault that her mother got pregnant for her sake
charlie in a box
18 December 2023 6:57 AM
something i like about this story arc is how human you’ve made Meriam’s choices feel.
Often, unsympathetic outsiders to domestic abuse situations would call women like her stupid, the choices she made unfathomable, and say she got herself into that situation.
But your storytelling shows that Meriam isn’t stupid. We can see that what lead her to this situation wasn’t Meriam being stupid, it was many outside factors and the cruelty of a man preying on someone vulnerable, and making her even more vulnerable under the guise of love and protection.
And especially this page, we see that her doing what she did wasn’t because Meriam was stupid. It’s because she was compassionate and cared for her child, and she had few choices left when faced with a predator.
And even if she was stupid, no one deserves that sort of abuse anyway.
Jay
18 December 2023 7:36 AM
I really appreciate that you show this sort of conflict in your webcomic, women rarely get to be imperfect in media and while it sucks seeing Shez take her anger out on Meriam here, women and girls are not immune to misogynistic bias, I think weβve all fell prey too and had to unlearn this victim blaming at some point in our lives.
I remember thinking this way when I was a child, I would see those charity ads of a woman in poverty standing there with 10 children and a baby on her hip and thinking “if she can barely feed herself then why does she have so many kids?β I was too blind to see the bigger picture. Society often forgets that pregnancy takes two people when it doesnβt benefit men, reproductive control is arguably the foundation of misogyny and fear of retribution is a powerful influencer. Everything Shez is frustrated by here is technically true, Meriam did βchooseβ to get pregnant and it is a terrible βchoiceβ to make in these circumstances, but when a woman is forced to choose between survival or submission how much choice does she really have?
A lot of mother daughter relationships end up tainted by generational misogyny and the unspoken resentment born from it, the relationship between Meriam and Shez is so refreshing, I love how open Meriam is with Shez and Shez in turn, how much they support each other, it just sucks that they have to support each other against this. None of them should have to learn this stuff.
werewol
19 December 2023 6:34 AM
this update hit like a knife to the heart!!!!! i keep having to remind myself that shez ends up okay, bc iβm so sad for her and her mom. i rly love these characters, which makes this bit of their story more painful (which i mean as a compliment!) <3
Tenbelow
19 December 2023 11:07 AM
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! SHEZ DID LOSE IT! so sad to see Shez yelling at her momma! There’s some of that abuser tearing apart the family stuff I was worried about!!! This could have gone so much worse but Meriam responded in such a calm and composed way while understanding where her baby is coming from. she shouldn’t have to. she shouldn’t have to carry this burden of managing the abuse of this awful man and trying to be composed and nuanced and understanding while she’s pregnant with a child she didn’t want but has no choice but to have. It’s so hard to be Meriam.
Trying to abort the child at home could kill her and leave her daughters alone with The Thing. Having the baby is the Least Worse option. And unfortunately I can Not imagine this baby Not Happening. I don’t think this baby necessarily came from the Incident where Meriam was protecting Shez. A man like Chris is going to feel like it’s his wife’s Duty to satisfy him, he would get angry and scary if she wasn’t doing her Wifely Duties. Even if Meriam is fine with facing violence herself, Chris would be willing to threaten the children to get Meri to do what he wants…..
I didn’t know if we would see the women in this family harming each other or not. It is very realistic, I don’t know anyone who hasn’t had these kinds of tensions and snapping at other family members while living with abuse. But sometimes Lease Bound can be unrealistic in the best ways. (we love you yonique) I didn’t know if you would go for realism or go for the like, happier outcomes that we women love to fantasize about. Where every woman is just Getting Along All The Time. They’re still okay tho, they’re all still doing well here, it’s natural for A CHILD to have such a hard time carrying all this rage inside her. And women can have conflict with each other while still loving and supporting each other. We’re all human. Shez is going to Lose It on someone who’s safe and won’t hurt her, instead of the true cause of her anger who could easily beat her to death………… She can’t express herself to the moid who deserves it. She can’t bottle this all up inside all the time. It’s sad but I do think Meriam will be thinking about moments like this forever. There is so much self blame and guilt going back and fourth between these two, while Crystal and Krissy don’t even know. π
Your comments in response to our very intelligent Norm L Esbian got me worried. But it’s so realistic. It is so very realistic. There is a danger in not showing other women the truth, in covering up something trying to protect them. My mother did that for my father, and as I slowly got older it was more up to me figuring out my dad Did Not Care About Me on my own. My mom only confided in me about the truth of some of the stuff he was doing or NOT doing when I was a full grown adult. She told me she was trying to protect me. I wish she had been honest, because her honesty would have saved me a lot of pain. I kept hoping for my dad would begin to do things a little differently when I was a kid. If he loved me then he would pull it together, eventually all the random excuses mom gave like him being busy at work would stop, right? But I learned. I had the chance to get older and look at my mostly absent father myself with a brain that was more capable of analyzing and understanding. In the IDEAL situation, these women are going to leave and Chris will DIE!!!! While Crystal and Karissa are extremely young. So they really won’t know through first hand experience. All they will have seen are those happy childhood memories.
There really is no option to bring them in and help them understand, though. You can not tell kids that young “daddy is a bad scary man and we have to leave but SHHH pretend to be happy and don’t tell daddy we’re leaving!” hello????? they can’t play the mind games that Meriam and Shez are playing! Both Shez and Meriam have moments where they’re barely able to hold it together! But you know, at a certain point as they get older, it’s on Crystal and Karissa to figure it out themselves. Look at your mother’s behavior, look at your big sister’s behavior. Know how unwavering their support has been, how caring and how much they’ve scarified. LOOK AT SHEZ’S EYE! If they can look at Shez’s eye and still think Well Dad Was A Good Dad Tho π well………. that’s on them… 9_9
Mary
20 December 2023 4:26 PM
“Mom, why is my big sister names Shanzey?”
“Well, it means princess, and when she was born I thought riches and nobility were the most important thing.”
“Oh. And why are my other sisters named that?”
“… At the time I thought something else was the most important thing. Why all the questions about names, Nut Punch?”
holy crap,i was JUST reading the last page and this one suddenly popped it
thanks,Rusty! I adore leasebound
Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no. Shez getting angry at her mom. And her face at the end. And the little ones in the background. And the name of the page π
I really do love Meriam. She has so few choices and so many things (people) to protect and even now, with Shez yelling at her, she is still trying so hard to be gentle. She didn’t want to tell her this. She wanted to protect her from it.
The truth she is trying to explain to Shez here is a very unfortunate part of being an adult, and especially someone stuck in a bad relationship. This one really hit me hard.
Rusty
T_______T
T________________T
T______________________T
ππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππ
You’re so good at storytelling. From the colors to the writing this story makes me so tense and emotional ππ Shez is only 13!! I have nothing else to say I want to hug Meriam so bad
Oh god π This page and the last are absolutely devastating! Seeing the contrast between the adorable happy kids vs the suffering that Shez and Meriam are going through is agonizing.
I can’t blame Shez for being angry, she had enough to deal with already without there being another baby in the mix. But Meriam… god. It makes me wonder how many times this happened… I doubt she got pregnant from just one ‘encounter.’ God, the humility and harm this poor woman has been through…
I noticed her wearing her old maid’s apron on the last page, too – it makes me wonder if she hung onto it and put it on again for some sort of comfort and a physical reminder of when she was independent, or whether it was meant to be a throwback to her being a maid cleaning up Chris’ room… Either way it sucks. ;_;
rusty iβm begging you to tell me the little girls arenβt in present time like βwell dad was always nice to USβ or else iβm gonna go crazy
π’π’π’π’π’πππππππ this wrecks me. Meriam’s self-sacrifice, Shez’s face when she understands, and words that ring hauntingly true for women.
Related: I like the way you draw crying faces, specifically women’s crying faces. Their eyes narrowed or squeezed shut, their teeth gritted, their faces squinched up where you can see the lines, the angles really show how much pain they’re in, the snot.
I think it’s typical for a lot of anime art styles to portray women’s tears in an almost voyeuristic way (there is a better word but it’s not coming to me right now), with their eyes either huge and doll-like or softly closed, and the teardrops shaded like sparkly gemstones.
Aside from how demeaning it is to portray women crying and showing serious emotion in an uwu cutesy way, crying should look gross and ugly because the characters are processing really painful emotions. In a situation as serious as this, it’s good for crying to look so appropriately gut-wrenching.
No parent wants to tell that truth to a child, definetely not one this young. In fact, this very moment represents Meriam making that same choice again: to remain silent and put a fracture into her bond with Shez or answer honestly, knowing that her kind daughter will feel the guilt for it…
I remember learning that lesson. Eleven, twelve, thirteen, and thinking you’re already meant to be an adult, and thinking this is how they will treat you, so fucking get used to it or you’re going to die this way. I remember asking myself if it was even fair to tell my friend to stay alive when this was all they would face.
Shez, you will get out of there, you may have to do it crawling, but get out.
Noβ¦ π₯Ί
Meriam is so strong.
Shez’s facial expressions are awesome. it’s an extreme sort of sadness that doesn’t often get portrayed for girls in media. snot coming out, chin wrinkled from how hard the mouth is grimacing. it’s not focused on being pretty or graceful or cute or funny, just on shez’s conveying pain. it makes me glad you’re the one drawing this sort of story.
and oof, the meriam’s words! such impact! poor shez might feel like it’s her fault that her mother got pregnant for her sake
something i like about this story arc is how human you’ve made Meriam’s choices feel.
Often, unsympathetic outsiders to domestic abuse situations would call women like her stupid, the choices she made unfathomable, and say she got herself into that situation.
But your storytelling shows that Meriam isn’t stupid. We can see that what lead her to this situation wasn’t Meriam being stupid, it was many outside factors and the cruelty of a man preying on someone vulnerable, and making her even more vulnerable under the guise of love and protection.
And especially this page, we see that her doing what she did wasn’t because Meriam was stupid. It’s because she was compassionate and cared for her child, and she had few choices left when faced with a predator.
And even if she was stupid, no one deserves that sort of abuse anyway.
I really appreciate that you show this sort of conflict in your webcomic, women rarely get to be imperfect in media and while it sucks seeing Shez take her anger out on Meriam here, women and girls are not immune to misogynistic bias, I think weβve all fell prey too and had to unlearn this victim blaming at some point in our lives.
I remember thinking this way when I was a child, I would see those charity ads of a woman in poverty standing there with 10 children and a baby on her hip and thinking “if she can barely feed herself then why does she have so many kids?β I was too blind to see the bigger picture. Society often forgets that pregnancy takes two people when it doesnβt benefit men, reproductive control is arguably the foundation of misogyny and fear of retribution is a powerful influencer. Everything Shez is frustrated by here is technically true, Meriam did βchooseβ to get pregnant and it is a terrible βchoiceβ to make in these circumstances, but when a woman is forced to choose between survival or submission how much choice does she really have?
A lot of mother daughter relationships end up tainted by generational misogyny and the unspoken resentment born from it, the relationship between Meriam and Shez is so refreshing, I love how open Meriam is with Shez and Shez in turn, how much they support each other, it just sucks that they have to support each other against this. None of them should have to learn this stuff.
this update hit like a knife to the heart!!!!! i keep having to remind myself that shez ends up okay, bc iβm so sad for her and her mom. i rly love these characters, which makes this bit of their story more painful (which i mean as a compliment!) <3
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! SHEZ DID LOSE IT! so sad to see Shez yelling at her momma! There’s some of that abuser tearing apart the family stuff I was worried about!!! This could have gone so much worse but Meriam responded in such a calm and composed way while understanding where her baby is coming from. she shouldn’t have to. she shouldn’t have to carry this burden of managing the abuse of this awful man and trying to be composed and nuanced and understanding while she’s pregnant with a child she didn’t want but has no choice but to have. It’s so hard to be Meriam.
Trying to abort the child at home could kill her and leave her daughters alone with The Thing. Having the baby is the Least Worse option. And unfortunately I can Not imagine this baby Not Happening. I don’t think this baby necessarily came from the Incident where Meriam was protecting Shez. A man like Chris is going to feel like it’s his wife’s Duty to satisfy him, he would get angry and scary if she wasn’t doing her Wifely Duties. Even if Meriam is fine with facing violence herself, Chris would be willing to threaten the children to get Meri to do what he wants…..
I didn’t know if we would see the women in this family harming each other or not. It is very realistic, I don’t know anyone who hasn’t had these kinds of tensions and snapping at other family members while living with abuse. But sometimes Lease Bound can be unrealistic in the best ways. (we love you yonique) I didn’t know if you would go for realism or go for the like, happier outcomes that we women love to fantasize about. Where every woman is just Getting Along All The Time. They’re still okay tho, they’re all still doing well here, it’s natural for A CHILD to have such a hard time carrying all this rage inside her. And women can have conflict with each other while still loving and supporting each other. We’re all human. Shez is going to Lose It on someone who’s safe and won’t hurt her, instead of the true cause of her anger who could easily beat her to death………… She can’t express herself to the moid who deserves it. She can’t bottle this all up inside all the time. It’s sad but I do think Meriam will be thinking about moments like this forever. There is so much self blame and guilt going back and fourth between these two, while Crystal and Krissy don’t even know. π
Your comments in response to our very intelligent Norm L Esbian got me worried. But it’s so realistic. It is so very realistic. There is a danger in not showing other women the truth, in covering up something trying to protect them. My mother did that for my father, and as I slowly got older it was more up to me figuring out my dad Did Not Care About Me on my own. My mom only confided in me about the truth of some of the stuff he was doing or NOT doing when I was a full grown adult. She told me she was trying to protect me. I wish she had been honest, because her honesty would have saved me a lot of pain. I kept hoping for my dad would begin to do things a little differently when I was a kid. If he loved me then he would pull it together, eventually all the random excuses mom gave like him being busy at work would stop, right? But I learned. I had the chance to get older and look at my mostly absent father myself with a brain that was more capable of analyzing and understanding. In the IDEAL situation, these women are going to leave and Chris will DIE!!!! While Crystal and Karissa are extremely young. So they really won’t know through first hand experience. All they will have seen are those happy childhood memories.
There really is no option to bring them in and help them understand, though. You can not tell kids that young “daddy is a bad scary man and we have to leave but SHHH pretend to be happy and don’t tell daddy we’re leaving!” hello????? they can’t play the mind games that Meriam and Shez are playing! Both Shez and Meriam have moments where they’re barely able to hold it together! But you know, at a certain point as they get older, it’s on Crystal and Karissa to figure it out themselves. Look at your mother’s behavior, look at your big sister’s behavior. Know how unwavering their support has been, how caring and how much they’ve scarified. LOOK AT SHEZ’S EYE! If they can look at Shez’s eye and still think Well Dad Was A Good Dad Tho π well………. that’s on them… 9_9
“Mom, why is my big sister names Shanzey?”
“Well, it means princess, and when she was born I thought riches and nobility were the most important thing.”
“Oh. And why are my other sisters named that?”
“… At the time I thought something else was the most important thing. Why all the questions about names, Nut Punch?”